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Tag Archives: water birth

After birth after life

Oct

4

2015

mariasotolongo

DSC_0035_2–I have only told a few people what happened to me after S’s birth at home last June. Labor was a fast 3 hours. His position was what some might define as shoulder dystocia, it was challenging to get him out and I bled quite a bit afterwards. About two hours after birth, something happened that I cannot explain.

S’s head came out in the water, but our midwife couldn’t get the umbilical cord unwrapped from his neck with me being in the water, because the cord was stuck between the head and shoulder. She calmly asked me to get out of the birthing pool. With my baby’s head between my legs, I hurdled the tub as fast as I could and squatted on the floor to get him out. I knelt with my right knee up and held on to the side of the tub for support. I had my backside to my midwife, who encouraged me to keep pushing. There was a sense of urgency, and at this point, it felt more difficult rather than painful to get him out. I had an out-of-body experience for a few seconds. I was up in our ceiling, in a corner, watching my birth. And I prayed. Prayed deeply that my baby would be ok. Please Dear Lord. Take me. Not him. Let my baby be born. And there he was, slipping out of me swiftly and silently. We rubbed him and told him we were ok, I held him tightly, kissed him and rocked him, and there he was. Crying in my arms. This fresh tiny being brought to us by God.

I moved over to our bed with P’s help. We were still attached by the umbilical cord (which we wouldn’t cut for a few hours to allow all of the oxygen-rich blood to go into our son) so I inched up slowly. Relief in our bed, then the delivery of the placenta, and then lots of cuddling and skin-to-skin contact. We did it. Our third baby was here. We brought in our other two children who examined every toe and every movement of their new brother.

DSC_0079

DSC_0084I soaked it all in. I praised God for this moment. After a while my whole family came in. Everyone went around with a blessing for the baby. We celebrated. We shared. We laughed. And once everyone left the room, I got up to go to he bathroom. My midwife was with me. She led me to the toilet and that’s when it happened. I remember hitting the wall. I fainted. P says I was only out for about 30 seconds.

But I traveled so far away in that short time. I was looking up as women with long brown hair looked down at me. Warm golden light surrounded us. They smiled at me. I felt the most pure calm and joy I have ever experienced. I remember thinking: “Finally, I feel so much peace. Finally. I can rest.” I heard someone calling my name. And then I woke up on the cold bathroom floor. P and my midwife looking down at me. I wanted to go back to sleep. Back to that peace. Please let me go. But they wouldn’t let me close my eyes. “Maria, Maria. Drink some water. Drink some water. Come on!” But I didn’t want to. Can I please just go back to that light-filled cloud? I didn’t go back. My midwife said we might have to go to the hospital if I kept bleeding. And that’s what got me to react right away. I perked up, still down on the floor. She told me to stay there as long as needed. She gave me a second shot on my thigh to help stop the bleeding. One of the post-it notes I had up with affirmations and Scripture caught my eye. “Be not afraid. I am with you always.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened to me. In the craze of the summer, and then new schools, juggling kid’s activities, trying to deal with our daughter’s diagnosis and helping her find her brave voice, I have frequently felt stressed and overwhelmed. What if I could somehow reach that level of peace I experienced after birth? How can I keep calm and connect to that holiness I briefly tapped into? That’s what I’m exploring these days as I continue to try to do it all. Life would definitely be heavenly if I am able to remember and reproduce that feeling of weightless peacefulness. I believe that I can do that through yoga and relaxation, but mainly through prayer and the Holy Spirit. With Pope Francis’ visit last week, I thought a lot about what it means to make life more simple, to focus on family, to pray more. As he said: “Love is a festival, love is joy, love is to keep moving forward.”

Wherever I went for 30 seconds served as an example of what we’re capable of feeling if we just let go and let God work with us, in us, and through us.

Posted in God, Pregnancy | Tags: after birth, after life, giving birth, God, home birth, prayer, water birth | 2 Comments |

Part Land, Part Water Birth

Jun

14

2014

mariasotolongo

Birth–No pain, no contractions, no signs that labor was starting. Other than the famous mucous plug. I told my husband, P, that this could be it because I knew he had to go to work and we had to plan the day.

It was also my twin nieces’ 10th birthday and I knew that my whole family was making plans to celebrate them.

By 8:30 a.m., I called my mom and told her that I thought today could be the day and asked her to help me with the kids.

P went to work at 9 a.m. and my mom got here by about 10:30 a.m.

I started having very mild cramps. By noon, I told P to come home from work. Though I still didn’t have much pain, I wanted him with me.

Since labor with our other two kids had started at night, the fact that it was daylight threw me off a bit. I wanted it to be dark, to be alone in my room, just preparing for the real thing, if it was going to happen.

The cramps turned into soft contractions, with no definite pattern, but now I knew that this was real.

I asked my mom to take the kids (6 and 3 yrs. old) to my sister’s. At first I thought that I wanted them to be present during labor, but something told me that we needed to be alone.

As they were leaving, at 3 o’clock, I got my first strong contraction. P said we should call the midwife. I hesitated because I thought it was too early, and we should wait to establish a pattern. But P didn’t want to wait, given our birth experience at home last time (we delivered by ourselves because the midwife didn’t have time to get here!) Read the story on my ” Documentary Tab”: http://mariasotolongo.com/?page_id=9

I’m glad we listened to his instincts.

We took a minute to breathe and acknowledge that this was it, we were going to meet our baby today. Little did we know that in only 3 hours we would be holding our baby boy. We turned on the music, closed the curtains, had flowers in each corner of our bedroom, and center stage sat our birth tub.

My sister came at 3:30 p.m. She would act as my doula/photographer and a crucial part of labor.

Contractions were definitely taking my breath away. Our midwife arrived at 4 p.m. She saw me having one contraction, and asked P to fill the tub. In my mind I thought it was too early. Again, glad we followed someone else’s instinct. It took 30 minutes to fill the tub. During that time, each contraction pushed me more and more to my limit. I could no longer talk and laugh between contractions. I was focusing on each moment and trying to listen to my body, telling me what position to take. Now it was time to be aware of my own instincts.

I sat on the birthing ball, squatted, leaned on P’s back, sat in our bed, rocked, breathed deeply, and looked at the affirmations I had posted on the wall. “This birth is my chance to hold hands with God”, “I surrender sweetly to each moment of my birth. ”

The birth pool was ready. I got in. Heavenly warmth. What a relief.

Birth

For a few minutes, I didn’t feel pregnant. My body could float. I relished the moment. I thanked my midwife, my sister, and my husband for being with me. I verbalized my excitement, realizing that I deserved this birth. That there was nothing to fear. I let myself cry, full of joy, until the next contraction took over.

There didn’t seem to be a break. With my last home birth, I snored between contractions. They were intense but I had time to get my strength. Now, this erupting volcano of life was almost unbearable. My birth team would chime in every time I said I couldn’t do it. Or that I didn’t know what I was doing. They reassured me I was doing everything right.

My midwife monitored my blood pressure and the baby’s heart rate intermittently. Most times she would comment “healthy baby, great blood pressure, looking good.” But then, she didn’t say anything and I saw something in her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I think maybe the baby’s too warm. Let’s try to get you out of the tub for a while. Maybe you can empty your bladder, ” she said.

I swam in fear at that point. I tried to get up, but a contraction slapped me down. I wailed like an animal. The guttural noises I made felt freeing and necessary. I gripped on to P’s arms as I knelt in the pool and then I felt a pop. My water had broken. I leaned over a side of the tub, begging for a break. My sister put the camera down and came next to me. She whispered: “Let go of your fear. Your baby is in the right position. Visualize him coming down. See his head down.” Fighting tears, I did what she said. I saw his head down.

We somehow got me out of the tub and over to the toilet. I barely made it. Forced myself to sit down. I felt a tremendous urge to push. I did. SO MUCH PRESSURE! Felt like deja-vu. Last time, giving birth to our first son, his head came out exactly where we stood now. I pushed and reached down to touch his head trying to come out. But unlike last time, his head didn’t slip out effortlessly.

“Let’s go back to the tub,” our midwife said.
“I can’t walk,” I assured her.
“We’ll carry you,” my sister yelled.
“She needs to walk,” the midwife insisted.
“I’ve got you babe,” P confirmed.
We made it to the tub.
BirthI knelt in the warmth again. Put my head against a side. My hands holding P’s. Waiting for the next urge to push. It felt like forever. My midwife told me to reach and see if I could feel the baby’s head. I did. And I actually felt it going back. What? That shocked me. But my midwife said it was ok. That my body was giving me a break. More eternal waiting. I prayed and asked God to not let go. Then there it was. The urge to push again. So much stronger than I remembered with my last birth. Would my body break if I pushed? Could I please order an epidural? But no drug could stop me now. I pushed his head out. THANK YOU JESUS!

We knew he had the chord around his head because we saw that on our 37 week ultrasound. My midwife reached in the water to unravel it. Again, it felt like time stopped. We tried unsuccessfully to unwrap the chord. Our baby’s head was out, underwater. He hadn’t taken a breath, of course. But the midwife said I had to get out of the water.

With my baby’s head between my legs, I quickly got out of the tub and took a knee, my backside facing my midwife, husband and sister. All three of them told me to push. No one screamed or seemed worried but I sensed the urgency to get him out. No slipping out hurriedly like my last birth. There was something going on. I felt like I was pushing with no results. Later, I found out that our baby’s head was leaning against his shoulder, and both the he’d and shoulder were trying to emerge together! The chord was getting stuck on the shoulder, giving us a tough time getting him out. Miraculously though, our baby finally came to us. The midwife placed him on a towel. He wasn’t breathing yet. We stimulated him, talked to him, welcomed him, blessed him, and when I picked him up, he started to cry. Thank you Almighty Lord! We did it. We had a healthy 9.7 lb. boy in our arms. He cried and cried, his chant, letting us know he was alive. We cried with him.

Birth

My two home births were completely different. Not what I had “planned” exactly. But they were in the setting that I chose, in the position that I chose, with the people that I chose. I had freedom to birth as I wanted. I share my story to bring awareness to other women about the choices they have if they are healthy and have a low risk pregnancy. Both of my stories would be considered “risky” by the medical world. I am not “lucky that the baby survived”. That is always in God’s hands. My midwife’s experience, knowledge and love for me and my family helped us deliver our baby at home, even with some slight complications. I invite every woman, YOU, to consider your options and ask yourself, am I making the decision of where to birth based out of love or fear?

Here is a fascinating article about the importance of where we birth: http://www.bestdaily.co.uk/your-life/news/a548028/could-the-way-we-give-birth-be-changing-us-as-a-species.html

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: home birth, water birth | 3 Comments |

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