We are quickly approaching two anniversaries that are giving me some anxiety. August 1st, the 3rd year anniversary of my dad’s death. August 27th, the 2nd year anniversary of Harvey. Two of the toughest challenges I’ve had to deal with in my life. But with loss come lessons.
I haven’t blogged in almost a year. We’re back home, and not only do we have new walls and floors, along with everything new/donated in our house, but: my husband has a new job, I have a new job, two out of three kids will be going to new schools, and… we got a dog! God has a sense of humor. If you asked me August 26th, 2017 (the night before we evacuated), if I believed any of this would be possible, I’d laugh in your face. But it’s really happened. And we’re really surviving.
I won’t say that we’re completely settled in. Plus, we’ll be paying for the financial blow Harvey dealt us for a long time, but we’re blessed and feeling like we can actually move forward. We still need things: towel racks, rugs, paintings, photos to fill our walls, and other stuff to figure out. We haven’t even gotten a microwave, but are getting used to heating things on the stove. We’re not giving much importance to THINGS, since we know they’re temporary. But a microwave would be nice, and hopefully we’ll get it soon.
We moved back in February 2019, a year an a half after Harvey. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it still sometimes doesn’t seem real… I’m in OUR HOUSE, OUR BEDROOM. I’ve yearned for this so long that I almost didn’t remember what it felt like to be home. We’d been in our rental house about a year and a half. And the other day, my 5-year-old son asked if we could drive by our house. “What house do you mean baby, we ARE in our house.”
“The other one. Where we lived after we flooded”, he said.
“OH! Yes. We can drive by it.”
And as we did, he looked at it and said, “That was a good house.” We celebrated two Christmases in that house. He started pre-k in that house. He saw snow for the first time in that house. He had maybe more memories in that house than in our own house. Kids are so resilient. I’m not worried that he’s scarred or traumatized. We’ve talked so much about it. I went to therapy after Harvey to make sure I had the tools to know how to talk to the kids about all our emotions. But hearing him speak about the rental house melted my heart and made me realize that he had felt so much, awakened to so much while we were there, that maybe he missed it a little.
A lot has happened this year. Many reasons to be thankful. So many things to still sort through and continue to heal. But we’re home!