La La Life

IMG_9767–I’m very late to the party. But I get it now. The hype. The awards. The buzz. If you can get past the first 45 minutes, La la Land will change your life. I only lasted that long the first time I started watching it because it was a weeknight after a long day and I wasn’t really in the mood to even watch a movie. But since P said I could pick what we watched, I thought we’d give it a try. We both agreed that it was kinda slow and felt like a high school play. Ok, maybe better acting. But the story wasn’t Oscar-worthy! After 45 minutes, we stopped watching it and went to bed.

Now, here I am, on a plane coming back from Spain. I figured I could watch 2-3 movies. I usually can’t sleep on planes. So I finished watching La La Land. And…what a gem.

I had stopped at the part where they first talk about jazz and Emma Stone’s character, Mia, makes a Kenny G. reference. If I had only stayed with it a few more minutes, I would have seen where the film turns into the beautiful love story that it is. 

Made me think about life and creativity and love and following our dreams.

I miss the kids and P. It’s been 6 days since I’ve seen them but it feels like longer because these jet-lagged days have been packed with activities, wine, and deep conversations. 

It was hard to go back to a dad-less Spain. I choked back tears when we landed. First trip where I wouldn’t go to my papi’s house. But I focused on celebrating my sister’s 50th and remained grateful to have this chance to take a break from my routine while spending a few days with my exuberant siblings.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe my life. The drama. The struggles. Are my dreams going to come true? But then I look at P and the kids… and I see they already have. It’s my career and professional dreams that I’m afraid of never achieving. Or have I already gotten all I’m going to get out of being a communicator?

My documentary is in post-production, things have come together organically, fluidly these past few months. After 5 years, it’s done! I am beyond thrilled at the location where we’ll hold the screening in May. I’m excited and nervous. Like Mia in La La Land felt about her one-woman show. What if no one comes? What if it’s not well received? What will I do after? Is this really worth it?

I’ve spent so many years putting my energy amd thoughts into the documentary. What will my next project be? And then I think, “enjoy the moment!”, “don’t over analyze”, “keep dreaming”.

So I will. I belong in La La Land.

Here’s to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem
Here’s to the hearts that ache
Here’s to the mess we make

She told me
“A bit of madness is key
To give us new colors to see
Who knows where it will lead us?
And that’s why they need us”

So bring on the rebels
The ripples from pebbles
The painters, and poets, and plays

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