Flying

I didn’t have anyone to take to the bathroom, no mouths to wipe, no spills, nothing to cut up, no interruptions while I ate my food on the plane. It felt odd to be by myself. My eyes teared up when I saw a mom with her kids a few rows ahead. I miss my munchkins and it’s only been a few hours since I left them. I have 7 days away from them and it’s hard to describe the “mushiness” I feel because I’ve never left them before.

As I stared out the airplane window, I thought about the silver-linings in our life these past few months.

Before our world started to crumble, I got a job. One that came to me. One that I would have never imagined getting because it’s not my industry, not something I would have been seeking, not somewhere I would have thought I belonged. But God had other plans.

A few months ago, I got an amazing job offer which was in my old world of television. Chief Meteorologist, great pay, and I didn’t even have to interview. The news director had seen me in Dallas, followed my career, called me and made me the offer. P and I really l had to think about it because it would solve all our financial woes. We debated, prayed, and tossed around the idea. I felt flattered, grateful, tempted to immediately say YES. But then I thought about the schedule I’d have, and how I’d literally see the kids for 2 hours a day. I’d have to work 1:30pm to 11:30pm. So I could take the kids to school, and then go home to have dinner with them. But I wouldn’t get to see them after school or put them to bed. Those two times are so important for me, and I’ve been doing that for 8 years, so I hated to stop doing that now. I thought and thought and realized it just wouldn’t work for our family, so I turned it down. P and I knew we’d made the right decision.

And so then this opportunity came my way without me even looking. My friend called and said her husband was looking for someone to start working immediately as a customer service representative for his company. They sell food ingredients to clients like Nestle. I interviewed on a Monday and started on Tuesday. Wow. Pretty amazing. The wild thing is, I get to work from home.

Then, the week after I got the job, our challenges began. A litany of complaints. A hundred hurdles to overcome.

Now, as I sit at the airport waiting for my connecting flight to Madrid, the overwhelming feeling of EMOTION weighs down on me. I could cry an ocean of warm tears to release this bittersweet wave of anxiety I feel. So happy to go see my dad and spend his birthday with him. But sad to leave my love and my babies. Thankful I get to be with my papi for a week. But fearful of how weak he is. Nervous about his first round chemo in a few days. I’m afraid that with my dad’s illness, the seeds of sadness have been perpetually planted in my soul. But I am glad I will be with my brothers and sisters and all five of us can walk this tough journey together. I trust in your plan Lord. Give me strength as I fly to my country, to my papi. I know you will take care of us:

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”- Matthew 26

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